Monthly Archives: November 2012

Of Ruffled Feathers

Thingamajigs that just generate confusion in my world…

1)  Enya’s music embodies meditation, comfort and grace…too bad I can’t understand a damn word she sings half the time.

2)  Women: do you really need to use your cell phone in a public restroom?  What conversation cannot wait till you are done doing your business, truly?  Whenever I see a woman on her cell phone in the bathroom, I purposely flush the toilet often and run the dryers.  Odd thing is, they don’t take the hint and are still undaunted from ending the conversation.  Let’s face it, it’s a gross habit, so kindly stop. 

3)  Security Words online:  I get the whole point that these one or two words you’re required to type in to access a site helps alleviate hacking and spam, but when I can’t even read the damn lettering or word to type in, that’s a glitch.  Then again, I also have trouble opening child-proof lids.

4)  Is it coincidence that all the contestants, pastry chefs and hosts on the Food Network shows, Cupcake Wars and Sweet Genius, have flawless, immaculate skin?  Despite my own often futile efforts to restrict my sugar intake, I break out if I glance the wrong way at a cookie.  These pastry chefs spend most of their days surrounded by sugar: consuming sugar, inhaling sugar, living and breathing sugar.  I can feel the acne erupting just thinking about it.  Why did I get the short end of that lollipop stick?  Why did fate give me the burning desire to consume sugar, only to have me denied the pleasurable, limitless consumption of it?  How Antonio Salieri of me…

5)  Why do people go out to a restaurant, only to be focused on their cell phones and smart phones?  Such blatant disregard for their companions.  Oh wait, their companions are on their phones, too!  Great…all dressed up and nothing to do.  Trust me, you and the “app” are not that important!  Let’s stop to consider though, this is really no different from sitting in front of the TV during dinner with your partner.   It’s just a modern form of technological progress in that the entertainment is mobile.  We all know it’s annoying, so why are we still doing it?

On the flip side, I also notice older adults dining out who say nothing to each other throughout their meal.  I’m not sure which is more depressing.  Not much of a generation gap after all, when you think about it.  Elderly or young, it’s no different.  Just do takeout, it’s cheaper.

6)  Lifetime and LMN movies:  all those strikingly, attractive individuals residing in picturesque locales with their exquisite houses, lucrative employment, all hauntingly plagued with such melodramatic ordeals and torments!!  I’d embrace such sufferings in exchange for being gorgeous and affluent.  In fact, I’m confident I could tackle any trouble  were I blessed with fortune and beauty.   No one’s making a movie with me in it anytime soon!

7)  Why do they always put the little produce stickers on apples, deftly placed to cover the spots they don’t want you to see?  The stickers are just large enough so the buyer is unaware of the unsightly bruise or puncture (until you get home, of course).   How deceitful!  Then again, I try to not be too judgmental with my fruit.  After all, I have a lot of punctures, bruises and blemishes myself.  Think about it, aren’t we all a bit damaged? 

More to come…

© 2012 by Lisa Carbone, The Seasoned Secretary and